If there is no struggle, there is no progress. -Fredrick Douglas

Often when a designer is invited to join a design team he or she may be asked to scrap a layout about themselves which provides limitless and unclear possibilities. Sometimes, heaven help us, a potential designer might be asked to design such a page as the submission for consideration to the call; this in my opinion is then a creative resume of sorts as not just the designers artistic ability and creative approach is considered but the content of the journaling. I hate "About Me" pages. I entered into the art world as a photographer and hung out there long before I became a professional layout artist and rarely is the photographer in front of the camera.

I was asked to submit my first design for Rochester Scrapbooking Company as a biography page to be displayed in the store alongside the other designers pages. This was in July. Even though there was a time when I had more designs displayed in the store than any other DTM I did not, and I still do not, have any form of a biography page displayed. I mean what would I put in it...a photo of me? Then a list of 10 things about me like one DTM did? Or just my name as a title below my photo with white space full of flowers as another did? Is she trying to say she is flowers? She likes flowers? Flowers are her favorite embellishment? I avoided the dilemma of thinking about "WHO I AM" and moved on instead to distracting everyone by producing enough layout designs, altered art or mini albums to distract from the fact that I was absent from the wall and here in January it has worked pretty well. Apparently no one cares about "WHO I AM" anymore than I care to discover the answer.

I have again been presented with the "About Me" theme which cannot be escaped because no other design can be submitted for the assignment until this one has been submitted and time is running out to get this done. I was not eager to list random facts about me that might change next week or next month as little about me stays the same I like to believe. Also the "About Me" came with that wide, open creative space which is great for everything except narrowing yourself down into 1 12x12 or 2 12x12 pages if lucky. Did they want the creative resume? Something creative? I refuse to create the same old, same old that everyone else will submit and I am not about to guess what "they" are looking for and so I need an "About Me" that speaks to ME but which I am OK about sharing with the everyone else.

It isn't all the people out in the 'invisible world' which I worry about sharing with as much as perhaps my own circle who might learn things about me that destroy the perception they had created of me...or worse perhaps I might share something which is viewed as a vulnerability in the armor which I have painstakingly assembled link by link for years. What if in sharing something about myself I accidently share something about someone else that shouldn't come out yet...and yet at the same time I couldn't just make a "My Favorite Things Today" list and call it "All About Me"

I had the good fortune today of visiting with a very good and old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for some years as that friend was working on improving their own life just as I was doing the same. The nice thing about good friends is no matter how many years pass, if true friendship ever existed then it is easy to pick right back up where you left off and continue the conversation from way back when, even if the details have changed to suit the moment. My visit with my friend came at the perfect time when I was battling with a concept for what I fondly began to refer to as "My Greatest Work of Crap Yet" and needed some direction because I was certain the assignment reviewer would not have the same warm, fuzzy feeling as I did for the title. We began to discuss how sometimes down the road you can see the good that has come of the bad or how certain experiences which we may or may not have grateful for provided us with lessons for life.

I shared memories of times that I can remember when I struggled to ever accept a God could exist, since my life had held some horrific experiences that a real God would never permit. I have since learned that this is a common feeling amongst those facing adversity as a hail storm who are immature or absent in faith. As I pointed out in our conversation, I can now, so far down the path I chose, see each and every painful stepping stone that brought me to the the monumental and greatest stepping stones. And while I might remember how I felt during the painful times I survived and it does not hurt nearly as much, if at all. I was also able to identify very specific experiences in my life which made me who I was today...the good and the bad.

This led me to have a somewhat cathartic experience as I began journaling my concept entries and I expect when this design is complete I will have crossed another stepping stone on my path. One which I hope will take me to another positive stone but if nothing else I, and those who view my layout as I won't hide it from anyone, will know a bit more "About Me."

***And hopefully I can get away with using the same design for other biography or me themes as this has been enough self discovery for awhile and I would like to retreat back behind the camera.